Random Story Meet my Friend
by JackieWackie
Summary: This is a little drabble about nothing in particular. But it would help if you first read Unseen Love... it does have a little connection to that. Please read... humor!


The Most Random Story EVER

Chapter Two

"I love Stacie," Jasper said. He paused before saying " A lot." Bella and Alice stared at him.

"That was so random" Alice thought out loud.

"Well what you didn't know was that I was sneaking around with her and Bella at the same time" Jasper explained.

"YOU WHORE" Alice and Bella yelled and stomped away from Jasper. Meanwhile Stacie was hiding in the broom closet listening to everything they were saying.

(Like Harry Potter!) "Ha he is my little whore though," Stacie said. Jasper turned around and opened the closet door and started to kiss her.

"At last my love you are no longer a secret" Jasper said passionately. Stacie smiled. Emmett walked in just as they went to kiss again.

"Wait what happened to you and Alice" Emmett asked confused.

" I am so over her now. And then after Alice, I had a little thingy for Bella." Jasper explained like Emmett was a three year old.

"Oh well who's this?" asked Emmett.

"I am Stacie hear me Roar" Stacie said and Jasper laughed.

"Is she a vampire?" Emmett asked.

"No I'm not but I want to be pretty soon because it's going to be a Bella thing all over again and you don't want that do you?" Stacie said super fast.

Jasper looked at Stacie and cocked his head to the side. Stacie looked at him back and he went all Jasper on her ass and bit her neck! Emmett watched in shock.

"She might be prettier then Rosalie" Emmett said as he watched Stacie yell and scream in pain and maybe pleasure.

" Eh you know what…. Naw she won't be. Let's just leave her here and go to that strip bar down the street." Jasper yelled happily. Stacie looked at him doubtfully with those cute little puppy dog eyes. Edward heard from his fiery grave. He appeared as a ghost to his brothers.

" LEAVE HER ALONE!" He said in a spooky ghost like voice. He moved his hands and arms in wavey movements.

"Why so you can RAPE me" Stacie asked as she yelled in pain at the word rape.

" No. I just don't want my brothers being bothered by a BITCH!" He said in a regular voice.

"WHAT why do you say that just because I slept with Bella doesn't mean I'm a bitch" Stacie said. Everyone stopped and looked at her with wide eyes and open mouths.

" WHAT IT'S HOT WHEN TWO GIRLS HAVE SEX!" Esme yelled, bursting out of the closet they were standing next to.

"Esme is now officially a Lesbian" Emmett said. Esme looked at him questionably.

" NAW UH!" She begun to yell but before she got it out Carlisle came bursting out of Stacie mouth.

" WHOOT MY WIFE IS A LESBEAN!" he said.

"No wonder why I felt so bloated" Stacie said and she stared at Carlisle then she went to continue what she was going to say, "I'm a mommy!"

" IT'S NOT MINE!" Emmett yelled. Rosalie now pooped out of Esme butt, looking extremely mad.

" WHAT?! YOU SLEPT WITH A HUMAN!" She asked incredulously.

"Well now I'm a vampire, well I am turning into one but that's BESIDES the point."

"Oops I farted" Esme stated.

BREIF INTERMISSION!!

" This is Emmett Cullen speaking right now. And this is the DANCE SHOW OF THE………. SECOND! Please tune in at the end of this chapter and I'll dance for you!"

INTERMISSION IS NOW DONE!!

_**THEN OUT OF NOWHERE VICTORIA CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD. SHE SCREECHED ABOUT CHEESE OMELETES AND PAUSED WHEN SHE NOTICED WHO WAS IN HER PRESENCES.**_

"Ew it's the wicked witch of the ass hole." Carlisle said like a hick. Stacie stared at everyone and then all of a sudden Emmett started to look like he was going to be sick. She looked at the ground and noticed water underneath him.

"Emmett had an Acciydent" Carlisle said. They all looked at him, expecting someone to burst through his new vajaja, but instead there was a knock on the front door. Stacie got off the floor and answered the door. It was a UPS guy with really REALLY short shorts on.

" Delivery for Mr. Emmett Cullen." Stacie looked from Emmett to the UPS guy.

" Just give it to me!" She stole the package from the guy and shut the door in his face.

"Emmett some gay guy said this is for you so take it. Did you make a baby with him?" she asked.

"Um" he looked back and forth between Rosalie and Stacie. "No" he continued. Before he could continue Jaclyn jumped out of the small box in a barney suit.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMETT!" She yelled.

"Whose this little whore bag" Rosalie asked.

"What are you doing here I said to come next week when Rosalie went on the big shopping trip" Emmett said. Soon someone jumped through the window. It was Jacob. He grabbed Jaclyn and ran off to rape her in the closet.

"HEY I SAW HER FIRST" Emmett yelled. Rosalie beat him up and Stacie took that as a opportunity to go and 'Comfort' Rosalie but instead they had hot hot sex while Jasper watched and recorded everything,

_**MEANWHILE IN THE CLOSET**_

" Jacob. That's my ear." Jaclyn whispered in the darkness of the closet.

"Oops I thought it was too small. Oh man I'm so bad at this. I was going to save myself for Bella but she DOESN'T WANT ME ANY MORE. Um I have a question which hole does it go into" Jacob asked dumbly.

" Erm… not quiet sure. Lets just put it in every hole." Pause. " Let me turn on the light first." Jaclyn said. Jacob heard a rustling and then the bright light turned on.

Jacob finally stuck the square block in the correct hole.

" WHOOT I win!" He yelled.

_**Meanwhile outside of the closet**_

"Are they playing with building blocks?" Esme asked.

"I don't know but lets go find out" Carlisle said opening the closet door and seeing a very hot scene happening before him. He went in unnoticed and watched the whole thing from_ behind_ Jacob. Jacob screeched from surprised but then there was a whole orgy!

THE END

Written By

Stacie(jasluver16 or Raveingthenight) et Jaclyn(JacobsImprint or JACLYN)

" DID YOU THINK THAT I FORGOT!? NEVER! This is Emmett again and I am gonna dance for y'all. Here I GO!!" **SING SONG VOICE AND MUSIC PLAYS CAN'T TOUCH THIS**

DANCING **DANCER** **DANCE**

P.S. " I PITY THE FOOL WHO CAN'T DANCE!"

" Thank you! I'll be here next week!"


End file.
